I recently read that an actress wants to give birth to a very intelligent child. However she does not want any involvement with a man. This is now possible through all the technology to do with `test tube babies'. She has been to a clinic and they have assured her that they have a `donor' who has an IQ of 160. That is the IQ that the best university professors have. Apparently he is a willing donor for the production of many babies for women whom he will never meet. He will be the father of many children he will never see.

As the writer in the newspaper report said: "The mother will care for the child when it is ill, will sit up at night when it is feverish or teething, will feed it, clothe it, educate it, and experience all the anxieties of parenting a teenager. The father will do nothing for his child, which will be genetically just as much his as hers. He will not stay awake at night; he will not change the nappies; the child will not cost him a penny." He will presumably simply be happy to know that there are many intelligent children in the world who have him as their father. But he will certainly never be able to say that he loves these children. To love someone means knowing that person and also being prepared to make a sacrifice for him or her. Love means giving of something of ourselves to help another. 

I am reminded of an even more telling story about an American couple. Sadly they were childless. So they went to a clinic and found a solution: an anonymous man and an anonymous woman whose "test-tube" baby would be implanted into a surrogate mother. Everything went as planned; nine months later the surrogate mother (who was paid $10,000) gave birth to a little girl whom they named Joyce.

Unfortunately, the marriage became rocky and ended in divorce. The husband has decided that he shouldn't have to pay child support because he is not the child's biological father. A judge ruled in his favour. In fact, the judge said that since his wife is not the biological mother, she has no right to custody.

Joyce is still a little child. She has no parents at all--not even the surrogate mother who gave birth to her, since they are not genetically related. As for the male and female donors, no one who knows who they are and they do not know themselves that they have a child. The wife still has custody, but refuses to pursue adoption. An appeals court may force the husband to take financial responsibility, but that has yet to be decided. In the meantime, it appears that Joyce is on her own.

Some people will hear this story and conclude that all this knowledge and technology is bad. I think though the fault lies deeper. It is not the advance of knowledge that is to blame. As long as this technology is not used to undermine the family it can be helpful. The real problem is that if we go too far beyond the family we strike against love itself. In these cases the lack of love is the problem: no one wants to make a sacrifice for the sake of little Joyce.

Recently I read this quote from a British university student: "I feel that no one has ever loved me. I don't even think I know what love is."

As I write this we are approaching Christmas. At this time particularly we remember that the love of God for our human race. It was not a love that remained at a distance. God in Christ has come to us and later on the cross, made Himself known to us and made that great sacrifice of love that takes away the sins of the world.

At the foot of the cross we can find that love. None of us come from perfect families. All of us know something - even a little - of the brokenness of the human race. With the Lord with us we can begin to experience the healing love of God in our lives so we will be ready for that day when we meet God face to face.